“Greg Gutfeld’s Take: Neopronouns – The Participation Trophies of Life’s Boring Players”

Happy Monday, dear readers! Prepare to be amused and perhaps bewildered as we dive into the latest eccentric trend brought to you by none other than CNN. But wait, this time it’s not about Chris Wallace’s antics stealing the spotlight. Tough crowd today, huh? Buckle up, because CNN has unleashed the concept of neopronouns upon the world. Neopronouns? Yes, you read that right! In a recent guide, CNN introduced us to pronoun alternatives like Ze/Zir, Fae/Faer, and Ae/Aer. These quirky pronouns are about as common as spotting Hunter Biden in a pair of pants.

Dennis Baron, a professor, tells us that neopronouns deserve respect and usage, much like any other pronoun. Well, Danny, it seems you might be out of luck with that assertion. The curtain has fallen on this charade, and only interns at CNN still give this fad the time of day. It seems that neopronouns have become a refuge for the uninspired, providing them with a badge of “participation” in life. After all, why strive for actual accomplishments when you can just label yourself as a “Ze” and call it a day? But let’s face it: this made-up pronoun isn’t fooling anyone. It’s essentially a built-in excuse for those who are going nowhere, all without leaving the comfort of their couch.

But hey, the absurdity doesn’t stop there! Just take a look across the pond, where a Christian UK doctor is making waves for refusing to engage with trans pronouns. The battle rages on as this doctor appeals the case, igniting a debate that challenges the very fabric of language and identity.

Now, let’s shift our focus to those who eagerly list their pronouns. Believe it or not, these folks might be even more puzzling than the ones who proudly proclaim, “I drive stick,” under hobbies on their resumes (yes, that’s a thing). But enough about the stick-shift aficionados. The pronoun proponents are akin to the spiritual-but-not-religious crowd. They sport tattoos just for the sake of being asked about them, flaunt band T-shirts for bands they’ve never heard, and flaunt degrees in utterly impractical subjects. These are the same individuals who proclaim their love for literature after reading a single book. It’s a head-scratching paradox, often traced back to well-off parents who’ve paved their way in life. And yet, these individuals manage to harbor disdain for capitalism. Talk about being a walking contradiction.

So, how do you avoid falling into the monotonous trap of pronoun obsession? How can you be genuinely captivating without succumbing to the herd mentality? Start by embracing activities that stimulate your mind and body. Explore the pages of books rather than the endless threads of social media. Embark on journeys, both physical and intellectual. Hone skills that contribute to your growth, whether it’s mastering the art of cooking or even taking up a sport. Remember, becoming interesting doesn’t require a herculean effort.

Consider this: ever met someone who failed at being a DJ? The answer is probably no. Operating a computer to play music can make you an instant hit at social gatherings. And then there’s the allure of unconventional experiences. Imagine dating someone who hunts their own dinner—now that’s an intriguing proposition. Or consider the girl who claimed to be a witch and tasted delicious—talk about a conversation starter!

Ultimately, the path to captivation lies in doing rather than merely identifying. Engage in activities that actually lead to accomplishments and experiences. After all, life is too short to be confined by a single pronoun. So let’s trade in the mundane for the extraordinary and make our lives a series of meaningful stories rather than a collection of labels.